Always Sunny Rules
 

And Charlie is the man.  I came across this link and wanted to share as one Charlie enthusiast to the rest of you.

"We're Gonna Go America All Over Their Asses!" Charlie Day's 20 Best Quotes from "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia"

Hard to pick just 20 but there are some goodies in here!  I also want to thank Netflix for bringing the shows to me one disc at a time!!

Review of the latest by David Sedaris squirrel seeks chipmunk

I give it an A.  I have read all of his books and have long been a fan.  Ever since I first happened upon a copy of Barrel Fever, I realized this guy was great.  I was starting to sense a tail off—honestly the last couple seemed to lack the energetic sarcasm that dripped from the initial efforts.

But this—very witty and insightful.  It is both funny and poignant which Sedaris used to be and apparently still can be.  I highly suggest picking it up—very quick read.  Just around 100 pamphlet-sized pages, the whole thing can be read in a sitting but you may want to break your reading of all of the stories out over a few days to try and absorb the new-style aphorisms he is dishing out at a better pace.

Here are a few of the choice morals he chose with the 25+ stories

1. Unfortunately when at work (which is most of our waking hours) our opinions are not just useless, but also counterproductive—when at work you should really use your mouth exclusively for kissing ass
2. Everyone’s ethnocentricity comes out when they travel but Americans seem like such assholes mostly because we are.
3. Although things usually work out for the best, our vanity keeps us hanging on to dramatic representations of how we feel the world wronged us. (this may have been my favorite of the stories)
4. We are all hypocrites yet we rarely hesitate to call someone else out on this whenever it suits us.
5.  There is always someone worse off, and no one wants to hear your problems so shut the fuck up.

And of course, there are many more.  If you ever liked a Sedaris book in the past you'll love this book.

Related articles

• Book Review: 'Naked' by David Sedaris (pacejmiller.wordpress.com)

You should buy one of these and put it in the toilet

HydroRight Dual-Flush Converter

At my grandmother's house in the bathroom they used to have an old sign bought from some hokey backwoods store where the locals surely all had septic systems 'If it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown, flush it down'. 



Crude but direct--I was typically there during some kind of large gathering and they only had one toilet on an artisian well.  It was a necessity.

Today, water conversation may not be a direct necessity for all of us, but hopefully you've at least thought about simple little ways to conserve water.  Maybe at some point you bought some incandescent light bulbs to replace old power hogging bulbs?  Well, this is the same thing, but for your toilets.

You spend $20 or less at Home Depot (there are several manufacturers and styles of this thing, I'm just going with the one I bought), and bring home the HydroRight Dual-Flush Convertor for $19.98 at Home Depot.

It takes about 5 minutes to install.  No tools or anything.

1. empty the tank up top
2. remove the old flapper and the handle
3. seat this thing where the flapper went and use a provided zip-tie to attach it to your existing tank pipe
4. install the cool-looking button where you used to have a stone-age handle.


VIOLA!  You are saving money every time you take a leak.  I saw a review where someone was saying unless you have an old 3 gallon flush toilet don't bother getting this, but that is idiotic as the lighter flush does a great job of clearing your bowl with much less than even the normal 1.6 gals you are probably getting now each time you press the handle.  (Ok so you probably wouldn't want to take a drink out of the bowl after the light flush?...as opposed to after a full 1.6 gallon flush??)

To get the lighter flush you simply press the upper button with the single dot on it (I imagine this dot must be braille for a '#1') which engages a strong but very efficient outflow--it is brief and I think it is less than a gallon per flush with that button.  When you press the lower button, it gives you the flush you normally would expect, with a normal 1.6 gallon flush.  Although you can use a dial on the HydroRight to raise or lower even those settings--it depends on how complicated you want to get with it and how much of a water-saver you are!

I took the below related tips from a top 1000 contributor on the Home Depot website (thanks Wilson79!) [consequently, I looked at the list of reviews to see what it took to get his 'top 1000' contributor logo on the Home Depot website and I see he only did 4 reviews overall..so if you're looking to get some logo-age near your name as a commenter somewhere out on the web, might be nice bang-for-your-buck to review a few things on their website, ha]

Make sure your toilet meets the following requirements and you will be fine:
1) Newer style fill valve (not the old ball system where there is a ball floating on the water in your tank). If you do need a newer style fill valve, we suggest the HydroClean Toilet Fill Valve, Model 660. You must have a round overflow tube.
2) The overflow tube must have a minimum height of 6” from base to top.
3) Your flush valve opening must be 2 – 2 ½”. If you have a 3” flush valve opening, this product will not work with your current system.
4) You must have a 10” clearance in your tank from bottom to top.

Also this site points out that the toilet is over 26% of the average home's water consumption so think about it. 
http://www.toiletabcs.com/toilet-water-conservation.html

15 minutes could save you 15% or more on your...water bill.

DAY 26:  WWW (A World Without Winter!)  I finally moved to Florida.  There's a lot to it, but at a basic level yeah, you bet your ass the weather had a lot to do with it.

I want to update every month or so about my little mid-life migration, as I know a lot of fellow New Englanders think about making their own 1 way flight now and again and I want to give you pros and cons to help you make a decision.  ( You are probably not thinking about it so much right now..but wait and see--it will be snowing again before you know it ;)  I am a pretty reasonable and cautious guy, but every now and then I get my mind set on something that is a bit outside the lines and...well if you're feeling froggy....you gotta leap.

I was raised in Massachusetts and then in  my mid twenties moved a little further north to Maine where I remained for almost 10 more years.  So I've been shoveling all of my life, and dealing with winter since I was a kid.  I'm talking extreme temperature changes that crack driveways, mess with your car, screw with your roof, and not mention how stupid you look when you fall down walking on ice.  It kept me locked in doors for about a quarter of every year since I was a kid.  The pervasive artificially heated air has always wreaked havoc on my sinuses and certain regions of my skin--my hands have always been messed up  (my hands as much as anything would be a mess by the time Valentine's Day rolled around each year). 

Well, I'm not a kid anymore and I got sick of it.  I wanted to try a place where it went from really hot down to only mildly hot.  Today it was about 95 and very humid, but I only had to leave the pleasant confines of AC to dip in the pool.  And anyway, they told me I'd get used to the heat.  We'll see.  Stay tuned.

Remember Ice-T's theme song to the movie New Jack City? 

"New Jack Hustler" (linked to a youtube video of this song August 2010..lyrics at the bottom of post)

I saw the movie around the time it came out and it was pretty bad ass for early 90s cinema (I IMDB'd it for the heck of it and learned that it was directed by Mario Van Peebles...huh).  The movie was ok back then, but not great.  The theme song however--that is solid gold.

This song can get me jacked up in two seconds.  Right when I hear the first few notes--it is on par with the best Rage Against the Machine or maybe System of a Down--I'm talking 'Freedom' and 'Killing In The Name' good

Image via Wikipedia

--or if you are more of a Serj fan--'Chop Suey' and 'B.Y.O.B.' good; even though they are/were popular mainstream songs you can't help but love them like your own little secret anthem.




The beat and lyrics work perfectly together --the tempo goes from fast to faster and could be described as  frantic--the switches are rushed, the piano is written to sound like the guy that is playing can't wait to get out of that neighborhood (he is definitely looking over his shoulder) and the stops are perfect because the lyrics are just so right-on--you are just waiting to hear it.  He is at the edge of angry without running off the road and getting derailed.

It is rare that such intelligent lyrics can be spit out so energetically and that are so synchronized with the loop they are layed over.  It is impressive that he is actually making a solid point about the cyclical and destructive nature of drug-trafficking while at the same time making you want to turn it up and jump around.  Half the time I hear it, I wish I could drive to Harlem and get into a shoot-out with some dirty cops--but of course, that is exactly how I feel when I bite into a Peppermint Patty too....

Dammit, listen to it right now and tell me you don't get charged up!

Hustler, word, I pull the trigger long,

Grit my teeth, spray till every nigga's gone.

Got my block sewn, armored dope spots,

Last thing I sweat's a sucka punk cop.

Move like a king when I roll, hops,

You try to flex, bang, another nigga drops.

You gotta deal with this cause there's no way out,

Why? Cash money ain't never gonna play out.

I got nothin to lose, much to gain,

In my brain, I got a capitalist migraine.

I gotta get paid tonight, you muthafuckin right.

Pickin' my grip, check my bitch, keep my game tight.

So many hos on my jock, think I'm a movie star.

Nineteen, I got a fifty thousand dollar car.

Go to school, I ain't goin for it,

Kiss my ass, bust the cap on the Moet.

Cause I don't wanna hear that crap,

Why? I'd rather be a New Jack-----Hustler

[chorus]

Hustler

Hustler

Hustler

H-U-S-T-L-E-R hustler

(kid drop in)

Yo man you know what I'm sayin?

You got it goin on my man, I like how it's goin down.

You got the fly cars, the girls, the jewels.

Look at that ring right there,

I know it's real, it's gotta be real.

Man, you the flyest nigga I seen in my life!

Yo man, I just wanna roll with you man,

How can I be down?

What's up? You say you wanna be down?

Ease back, or muthafucka get beat down.

Out my face, fool I'm the illest,

Bulletproof, I die harder than Bruce Willis.

Got my crew in effect, I bought em new Jags,

So much cash, gotta keep it in Hefty bags.

All I think about is keys and Gs

Imagine that, me workin at Mickey D's (ha ha ha ha).

That's a joke cause I'm never gonna be broke,

When I die there'll be bullets and gunsmoke.

Ya don't like my lifestyle? Fuck you!

I'm rollin with the New Jack crew.

And I'm a hustler.

H-U-S-T-L-E-R hustler

New Jack, New Jack..........

Here I come, so you better break north,

As I stride, my gold chains glide back and forth.

I care nothing bout you, and that's evident.

All I love's my dope and dead presidents.

Sound crazy? Well it isn't.

The ends justifies the means, that's the system.

I learned that in school then I dropped out,

Hit the streets, checked a grip, and now I got clout.

I had nothing, and I wanted it.

You had everything, and you flaunted it.

Turned the needy into the greedy,

With cocaine, my success came speedy.

Got me twisted, jammed into a paradox.

Every dollar I get, another brother drops.

Maybe that's the plan, and I don't understand,

God damn----you got me sinkin in quicksand.

But since I don't know, and I ain't never learned,

I gotta get paid, I got money to earn.

With my posse, out on the ave,

Bump my sounds, crack a forty and laugh.

Cool out and watch my new Benz gleam,

Is this a nightmare? Or the American dream?

So think twice if you're coming down my block,

You wanna journey through hell? Well shit gets hot.

Pregnant teens, children's screams,

Life is weighed on the scales of a triple beam.

You don't come here much, and ya better not.

Wrong move (bang), ambulance cot.

I gotta get more money than you got,

So what, if some muthafucka gets shot?

That's how the game is played,

Another brother slayed, the wound is deep

BUT they're givin

My education's low but I got long dough,

Raised like a pit bull, my heart pumps nitro.

Sleep on silk, lie like a politician,

My Uzi's my best friend, cold as a mortician.

Lock me up, it's genocidal catastrophe,

There'll be another one after me!

A hustler.

Hustler.

H-U-S-T-L-E-R hustler.

New Jack, New Jack......

Funny People II

I saw just the end of this movie a few weeks ago, but last night I just happened to catch it from the start.

I misjudged it; this was a great movie.  The basic premise is that a superstar comedian (Adam Sandler) lives a very wealthy lonely life-been there, seen that.  When he is diagnosed with a form of leukemia he reflects on the empty lousy life he has been living and bumps into a chump that is trying to get a comedy career started (Seth Rogen)--oh really, did we need this movie again?  This was my initial thought without seeing the whole thing, but I have to say it fought out from the trite package it wrapped itself in with the casting.  I think mixing Adam Sandler into the Apatow-pack worked great. 

I don't want to ruin it for you, so that's it for plot outline, but Jonah Hill and Jason Schwartzman play actors that are doing whatever needs to be done to climb the B-list Hollywood ladder and the level of unspoken self-reference was great there and I laughed pretty hard at some of the back-and-forths they were in because of that.  This film is a lot more substantive than the Judd Apatow flicks you might have seen and I highly recommend it.

Real life it is not--however, the dialogue and the characters seemed very natural to me and if you can suspend the need for realistic details and meet them halfway to try and relate despite the odd situations, you will enjoy it.

Related articles by Zemanta

• Their Best Role: Adam Sandler (cinematical.com)
• 1 reviews of Funny People (rateitall.com)
• Is It Possible for Funny People to Be All That Funny? [Apatow's World] (gawker.com)
• Apatow actors on write path (variety.com)

NPR is great

Image via Wikipedia

The beautiful part is that you can take it for granted whenever you need and it will be there for you.  I have sent in very little money over the years, because I don't make much and really never have made much.  I did donate time for a couple of campaigns, manning the phones on a couple of their telethons.  And I definitely try to sell the value of NPR to friends and family when I can.

Herbie the 212 year old tree--Part II

Image via Wikipedia

In January I wrote about a 212 year old tree in Yarmouth Maine that was cut down due to having contracted a fungus..rather than letting it fall on a house, or rot to waste, it was decided by someone that it would be cut down.  

Anyone Else?

I was telling my wife about a long-held habit of mine.  I am not a hugely superstitious person, and I'm not sure how I picked this up, but I find myself trying to start a staircase with my left foot and hit the top of a staircase with my right foot.  I have caught myself many a time counting unfamiliar staircases towards to top to ensure a nice 'right foot' landing.

Zen and the Art of Yard Maintenance

There is something to be said for having the privilege to be caretaker for your own little piece of land.  Putting time into something where the only benefit is getting to enjoy a job well done, and getting to appreciate the results so directly is something I have grown to appreciate over the years.

The earth that your little plot of land is comprised of follows it own set of rules.  You quickly learn where the larger rocks and exposed roots are.  And where the lawn is wettest latest, and where it is driest first.  You learn the contours and quirks of the terrain that you need to work around which are often not visible to a passing eye.  Before long, with even a little care, this is now your land--it is not the paying of the taxes alone that creates that designation; it is the taming and the care taking.

And there are many natural laws to contend with in this pursuit.
-Unmowed grass gets too tall and thins out (less stalks per square inch).
-If you mow it shorter (not too short!) it gets thicker and fuller--but it drinks more so you need to ensure it
  has enough water to keep up (naturally or from you).
-Dry grass turns yellow, almost like nature's warning sign 'I'm dying; please help!'..this rings true for people as well--if any of your friends turn really pale yellow and seem to be drying out, you should at least get them some water.
-When it rains, water pools in the same places, and drains to the same places.
-If you pull the root of a weed out, it is gone.
-If you pull them all out by the root you will have no recurring weeds!
-Certain flowers like more Sun, others  like to grow under those types of things.

I am not a horticulturist but these are the kinds of things running through my mind on Saturday mornings ( or Friday evenings if rain is expected) from late Spring until football intervenes in the Fall.  And I am glad that they run through my mind on a regular basis.  It is good to have a little 'nature time'.  It feels good to have something other than work or family or anything human to have to answer to for a little while--something that has its carrot/stick system--literally; this is the actual domain of both carrots and sticks.

Image via Wikipedia

No knock on softball intended here, because I'm sure there is something to be said for joining a softball league, buying a uniform and playing a low level of America's pastime with a group of other guys (and maybe some women) one or two nights a week through the Summer--but for me, the years I have spent messing around with my 2.5 acres have helped me find peace without the need for a...bat.  And I think my yard may be an important reason why I am able to enjoy my time with people so much--I have a constructive, enjoyable way of breaking away from the connectedness, even if only for a few hours a week.

Related articles by Zemanta

• Illinois town ups citations for unkempt yards (seattletimes.nwsource.com)
• Neighbours' feud ends in bloody weed-whacker attack (theprovince.com)
• Goats, The Ultimate Green Landscapers in Los Angeles (environment.change.org)
• How to Keep Weeds from Growing in Mulch (brighthub.com)
• Green Lawn Care Tips and a Secret Lawn Tonic Recipe from a Golf Course Groundskeeper (bargaineering.com)